What can be said about Pokémon that has not been said already? This pillar of pop culture has stormed into the mainstream with most people under the age of 30 knowing what Pokémon is by now. Countless articles, fics, and art have been made over the years, showing our love for this classic series. Now that we have Let’s Go, Pikachu and Eevee we can relive the original games and see the changes they made to them. Everyone is excited about the upcoming mainline Pokémon title, so I thought it would be a good time to revisit the first gen games.
Many of us grew up playing the gen 1 games; during recess, on our work breaks, after school. We all hold fond memories of this ground-breaking game. People are always talking about their first starter or what they called their rival, but there is one thing that they do not usually talk about when it comes to gen 1. However, hindsight is 20/20 and we can spot some issues in logic or gameplay that may not have been obvious at the time. Some things just do not make sense no matter what. Sure, this is a fictional world that does not exist, but stories should still make sense. Nitpicking may be considered rude, but the internet runs on nitpicking and memes at this point. We found just a few weird issues that you may not have spotted in Pokémon gen 1 games.
It’s Not A Dragon…Apparently
We all know what dragons look like. Sure, they may be physically different and not all of them have wings, but we know. They have wings most of the time, are large reptiles, and most spit fire. Charizard fits all of these descriptors, but he’s a fire/flying type? Those are literally the descriptors for being a dragon. So you’re telling me that Sliggoo, Vibrava, and Alteria are dragons but not Charizard? They did this for balance but seriously, it makes no sense.
Bad Parenting, Kangaskhan
So Kangaskhan parents are always seen with their little baby in their front pouch. While this is super cute, they keep the baby in the pouch during fights too. This means that when you battle one, that baby is getting a face full of whatever you just attacked with. Not only is this unsafe, but it does not make sense. No animal parent would keep their kid on them during a fight. They’d put it on the sidelines or tell it to run away and hide.
The Rival Should Be The Protagonist
Your rival in Red/Blue is your motivator. They mock you and fight you, all to encourage you to keep playing and getting stronger. However, Blue/Gary should be the protagonist. Their grandfather likes you better and doesn’t even remember their name. You kick their behind constantly. You destroy their Raticate and other Pokémon. You let them be the Pokémon Champion for all of two seconds before you take that from them. These are all excellent motivators usually seen in protagonists. You are the villain.
How Are Humans On Top?
In our world, humans are the dominant species because there are a lot of us and we have advanced weapons on our side. But in Pokémon? With gods walking the earth that could end the world in moments? With literal dragons, ghosts, and beings that can literally drain the life out of you with a thought, it is mind-boggling that humans are number one. Sure, we have numbers, but do we really know how many Pokémon are out there? We know that there is only one Mew and Mewtwo, but how many Pikachu are out there?
Is Being A Champion As Hard As They Say?
As a Pokémon trainer, defeating the gym leaders and making it to Victory Road is supposed to be a true test. A trial of your mettle as a trainer and what separates the wheat from the chaff. However, when you show up to Victory Road, there are loads of people there. All these other trainers just chilling. There is security checking people for badges, so surely they defeated all the trainers. But it’s supposed to be hard to defeat the leaders? What’s the truth, Gamefreak?
He’s Trapped In There Forever
Vermilion Gym, home to Electric-type gym leader Lt. Surge. This was my favorite gym leader battle during my playthrough but while playing I had a thought; how does Lt Surge get out of the gym? There is a tree blocking the way into his gym which you need cut to get past. The problem here is that Lt. Surge’s Pokémon do not have any moves that could get past this tree. In the real world, an axe will do just fine, but this is not the real world. He’s literally just trapped forever in the gym.
Professor Oak The Professional
Professor Oak is a highly respected scientist and authority on Pokémon. He is loved by many even if he is a bit quirky. When you meet him, he gives you one of his three Pokémon and gives you the Pokédex, asking you to discover them all. However, when you meet new Pokémon, the Pokédex tells you about it. Either Professor Oak lied and already inputted all the data on each Pokémon or the Pokédex scans them somehow. However, why does he need you to do that if he is an expert on Pokémon? He doesn’t even pay you.
The Sleepy Townie
When you visit Viridian City, you may come across a certain troublesome figure. A man lays in the road blocking your path. Game-wise, he is there to stop you from leaving Viridian City early without giving Professor Oak his parcel. As for why he is lying in the road, he says he has not had his coffee. Yeah, I also just lie in the road when I haven’t had my morning coffee, too. Totally makes sense, GameFreak, totally makes sense.
Bill Is A Questionable Scientist
Ah, Bill. This guy, found on the Cerulean Cape, is a Pokémaniac who is working on Pokémon teleportation. When you find him, he has merged bodies with a Pokémon while experimenting and needs you to help him turn back. You go to his computer, press a button, and bam! He’s all good. This guy made the Storage System, so why is something so complex as teleportation easily undone by a literal child? Seems too simple to me, to be honest.
Stocking Up Is Hard
Retail stinks. Customers can be difficult, coworkers may not pull their own weight, and you can’t always get what you order. It seems that the latter rings true in the Pokémon world as well. In certain Pokémarts, you can’t get certain items. For example, if you head to the Viridian City one, there are very limited supplies. Despite this being a popular spot for wannabe Pokémon trainers to stop by, you cannot buy Max Repel or Hyper Potions. This is a weird quirk that doesn’t make sense.
Fossils? In A Museum? Nah…
In Mt. Moon, you can find two ancient and rare fossils. In front of these fossils is a Super Nerd. This Super Nerd makes a deal with you to take whichever one you do not pick. This is great for you, since you get an Omanyte or Kabuto, but also, I have questions. What does that kid do with the remaining fossil? Surely, we should give them to a museum? Is it just a paperweight for him? They aren’t exactly super hidden, why didn’t someone take them earlier? Why didn’t the kid take them both and book it before you got there?
Job? What Job?
Leaving your mother at the ripe age of eleven, you finally give your mother some freedom. But here’s the question; what does your mother do while you’re off gallivanting in the wilderness? Does she go on dates? Do some freelancing? Take a vacation to the Alola region? What your mother does shall remain a mystery to us all. But who cares as long as she sends you money and is there to greet you when you get back, right? Where does all that money even come from?
Kadabra Does What Now?
So Kadabra, according to its Pokédex entry, it uses ‘powerful alpha waves’ which can cause headaches and reverse the time on clocks. Is this damaging to the brain? Will this cause health issues if you spend too much time with a Kadabra? As a Pokémon trainer, you have to spend time training your Pokémon to help them reach their full potential, but are there regulations for Kadabras? Should there be? Seems pretty dangerous. Not dangerous like Groudon dangerous, but still dangerous.
Pokémon Aren’t CD Players So What’s With TMs?
TMs are the way for Pokémon to learn new moves. They learn this new move, like Fly, and immediately forget a move of your choice. First of all, how does this happen? They do not have built-in CD or DVD players and you do not have one in your inventory. I know they are digital, but in the context of the world of Pokémon, they are real animals. Second, they really forget a move straight away? One they have known their whole lives? I can be forgetful sometimes, but this is a whole new level.
Sleepy Snorlax Blocks The Way
Outside Celadon City and south of Lavender Town on Routes 12 and 16, you will find two Snorlax having a little nap. These sleepy boys are there to get in your way and generally be a nuisance. The only way to wake them up and get them to move is to get a Pokéflute from Mr. Fuji in Lavender Town. Now, you can take the long way around but frankly, I got Pokémon to catch and Team Rocket members to wreck. I gotta hustle. How has no-one else tried this? Why didn’t Mr. Fuji come down and move them himself?
I Wanna Know What’s Inside A Pokéball
Pokéballs have long been a point of debate amongst trainers. We capture these live animals with them and keep them there until we need them in battle. But the thing is, what does the inside of a Pokéball look like? Is it a room perfectly suited and custom designed for each individual Pokémon? Does it just vaporize them and keep their data until you summon them? The only thing we know is that the Pokéballs brainwash your Pokémon to make them obey you, which is messed up.
Cubone, What Are You Wearing?
So the thing with Cubone is that Cubones have a rough time. Because of hunting by humans, Cubones wear the skulls of their mothers. As macabre as that is, adult Marowaks exist so surely not all Cubones should wear skulls. Surely the skulls should only appear once the mother has perished. It is a tragic story but it does not make sense to apply it to the entire species. It would have made more sense to make that an isolated incident and have the others have armor that just looks like skulls.
Danger? In The Pokémon Universe? No Way
So the rite of passage in the world of Pokémon is to head out at age 11 alone and go catch some wild animals. Who cares about finding shelter, having money, or seeing your family? As long as you’re out there battling some ferocious beasts it doesn’t matter. There are literal gods walking the earth and these people think it’s safe to just kick their kids out right into it. I’m all for a tough life lesson but this seems a bit much.
Fishing In A Puddle
Fishing can be a very chill and pleasant time. In real life, it can be boring as heck but luckily video games make the activity a bit more fun. When fishing in Pokémon, you will most likely encounter a Magikarp. These useless fish can be found in oceans, rivers, lakes, and even puddles. One of these is not like the others. Magikarp are kind of huge, so they would not survive in puddles on the street. Unless the potholes in Pokémon are just really big.
We Demand Pokémon Rights!
When we have a team of Pokémon together and train them in battle, they respond to our words. They do what attacks we tell them and when. They react to what we do and build real bonds with us. They are sentient beings with emotions and thoughts. Heck, some of them can even go to school and work. Does this mean that they have rights? Can they own houses? What do their diplomas or resumes mean? We really do have them trapped but these facts bring questions.
